goodnight

woah...

 did a gateway meditation earlier and this one is where you cast out something like a question or something your missing and itll come back with the answer and i literally felt pressure between my eyes like something was pressing on it literally so insane ive never felt that before was so intense def the most intense meditation ive ever had 

whtevr

 i cant really put it into words im frustrated but like also trusting the process i fucking guess idk im tense i wanna rip my face off this song is kicking my ass i need to smoke weed or something do some drugs i dont even do drugs 

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trusting the process is really hard and im moiwgogjkwNSGWJNEGOWjegiwoegjwoiEJGsoikgjnSODKGSDOGLKJJHSJDOGLKSHJdglksdjlksdgosnDGKSJDNV Osiuejgnpvsoud;jvnpsiubsoiebjnsopb

Gateway affirmation

I am more than my physical body. Because I am more than physical matter, I can perceive that which is greater than the physical world. Therefore, I deeply desire to Expand, to Experience, to Know, to Understand, to Control, to Use such greater energies and energy systems as may be beneficial and constructive to me and to those who follow me. Also, I deeply desire the help and cooperation, the assistance, the understanding of those individuals whose wisdom, development, and experience are equal to or greater than my own. I ask their guidance and protection from any influence or any source that might provide me with less than my stated desires.

time

 typically through out my weeks i find my self constantly rushing or worrying about what time it is or how i cant do this one task because i dont have enough time..... time time time we always think about when and how long and days and weeks and blah blah blah

in my opinion, that seriously sets me and everyone else back. i think this can be related to FOMO, we dont wanna miss out so we rush and rush and worry and get our brains all twisted up because of something that isnt even real. i used to be soooooo worried about being late to things or missing out, until i realized that everything is okay and im putting unnecessary pressure on my self for no reason, Its as simple as that. 

example: I wake up at 10am, and i have to be at work at 2pm. its about a 40 minute travel so usually leave at like 1:10. But I want to go to the gym before and i also want to eat and i also wanna meditate and i also wanna do this and that and wowowowowwww ok. Instead of getting in my head and telling my self "theres no time" i just go ahead and do everything i want to do. ITS THAT SIMPLE. if im a bit late to work oh well ill figure out what to say when im there. nothing is going to happen!! you arent going to die!! just do what you want to do and dont worry about anything else but that! obviously you can limit some things but like i tend to make it suchhhh a big deal if i cant do this one thing i wanted to do when in reality if i really wanted to do this thing i would have already done it and not even thought about it.

maybe extreme example but my point is just chill. everyone should be more chill. me and my girlfriend struggle with this time thing alot but i think were getting better. it can be this major anxiety thing we put on our selves when we dont really have too at all. i want to eventually live with 0 clocks and 0 calendars and nothing telling me what time it is. i just wanna know when its day time and night time. 

breath of life

 theres a cool meditation practice i found on youtube called the breath of life and the guy who made the video said you will never have a bad day if you start your day like this and ive tried almost every day and it feels pretty good afterwards ill share

so you get comfortable, then you say to yourself "i love my self, i trust my self, i honor my self, i value my self" each time you say each phrase, youll be able to feel it at a certain place in your body like if you say i love my self you might feel it in your chest or your arms or your feet.

The point is to get the feeling in your heart,  so start with one of them and figure out where it feels then repeat the phrase. so say again "i love my self" then inhale for 7 seconds, hold it for 3 seconds, then exhale and while you're exhaling picture yourself inflating your heart, like youre exhaling into a tube connected to it. Repeat this 3 times, then repeat the phrase once you're done. The feeling should have moved, and if not its okay you can do it again, OR if it didnt move at all an you dont know what im talking about, just continue with the other phrases in the same practice and eventually if you keep doing this youll see.

it works for me its just a nice little reset sometimes i like it in the morning or like when im about to do something, try it