Gateway affirmation

I am more than my physical body. Because I am more than physical matter, I can perceive that which is greater than the physical world. Therefore, I deeply desire to Expand, to Experience, to Know, to Understand, to Control, to Use such greater energies and energy systems as may be beneficial and constructive to me and to those who follow me. Also, I deeply desire the help and cooperation, the assistance, the understanding of those individuals whose wisdom, development, and experience are equal to or greater than my own. I ask their guidance and protection from any influence or any source that might provide me with less than my stated desires.

time

 typically through out my weeks i find my self constantly rushing or worrying about what time it is or how i cant do this one task because i dont have enough time..... time time time we always think about when and how long and days and weeks and blah blah blah

in my opinion, that seriously sets me and everyone else back. i think this can be related to FOMO, we dont wanna miss out so we rush and rush and worry and get our brains all twisted up because of something that isnt even real. i used to be soooooo worried about being late to things or missing out, until i realized that everything is okay and im putting unnecessary pressure on my self for no reason, Its as simple as that. 

example: I wake up at 10am, and i have to be at work at 2pm. its about a 40 minute travel so usually leave at like 1:10. But I want to go to the gym before and i also want to eat and i also wanna meditate and i also wanna do this and that and wowowowowwww ok. Instead of getting in my head and telling my self "theres no time" i just go ahead and do everything i want to do. ITS THAT SIMPLE. if im a bit late to work oh well ill figure out what to say when im there. nothing is going to happen!! you arent going to die!! just do what you want to do and dont worry about anything else but that! obviously you can limit some things but like i tend to make it suchhhh a big deal if i cant do this one thing i wanted to do when in reality if i really wanted to do this thing i would have already done it and not even thought about it.

maybe extreme example but my point is just chill. everyone should be more chill. me and my girlfriend struggle with this time thing alot but i think were getting better. it can be this major anxiety thing we put on our selves when we dont really have too at all. i want to eventually live with 0 clocks and 0 calendars and nothing telling me what time it is. i just wanna know when its day time and night time. 

breath of life

 theres a cool meditation practice i found on youtube called the breath of life and the guy who made the video said you will never have a bad day if you start your day like this and ive tried almost every day and it feels pretty good afterwards ill share

so you get comfortable, then you say to yourself "i love my self, i trust my self, i honor my self, i value my self" each time you say each phrase, youll be able to feel it at a certain place in your body like if you say i love my self you might feel it in your chest or your arms or your feet.

The point is to get the feeling in your heart,  so start with one of them and figure out where it feels then repeat the phrase. so say again "i love my self" then inhale for 7 seconds, hold it for 3 seconds, then exhale and while you're exhaling picture yourself inflating your heart, like youre exhaling into a tube connected to it. Repeat this 3 times, then repeat the phrase once you're done. The feeling should have moved, and if not its okay you can do it again, OR if it didnt move at all an you dont know what im talking about, just continue with the other phrases in the same practice and eventually if you keep doing this youll see.

it works for me its just a nice little reset sometimes i like it in the morning or like when im about to do something, try it 

brain hurts

 my brain sometimes feels like its attacking its self its rlly annoying i def have adhd or add or something cuz this rlly gets in the way sometimes i need to find a way to channel it into somerthing maybe if i continue meditating 

currently music i didnt go to studio i figured i switch my focus on the beat instead of the lyrics but now im extra stuck its like someone took me and threw me in a rat trapppp omfg

i struggle with overthinking like allot like rlly bad like i def could be diagnosed with overthinking syndrome no joke my brain hurts rn cause im thinkng so much instead of just doing.... 

im excited to put out more stuff when its ready 

Theme in music

There’s a common theme I’ve noticed with musicians today and it’s that we all need to be reassured. The Music we make needs to be shared with friends or teased on instagram to “make sure people like it” or “make sure it sounds right”….. i think that is very silly. Just post it. Just post what you feel. Fuck if it’s in key, fuck if it sounds like the next guy, who gives a crap. Just post something. It doesn’t matter at all. Stop creating for the people who listen because they have no idea what they want to listen too until they listen! Does this make sense? Why do we feel the urge to be careful with what we make why is everybody testing it out first before they release it to the world? I’m no saint I’ve definitely done this in the past but it always feels so silly. In no way am i saying posting a snippet means you are scared or testing the waters because sometimes it can be the artist is just excited to share. But a lot of it is just for reassurance. I also understand that music is a very vulnerable thing and sharing it is not easy. But if you want to sell what you are making, don’t make sure people like it first. It’s silly, it’s dumb. do painters “test” the painting before they sell it? Do they post a photo and say “what yall think 🔥🔥” ? Yeah …. Didn’t think so… (PS. ONE MORE THING SHOWING YOUR GOOD HOMEBOYS OR GIRLS A SONG YOU ARE WORKING ON AND ASKING THEM AN OPINION ON IT IS NOT WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT… EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT NEED ANYBODY ELSES OPINION BUT YOURS….. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN)

sup

Chilling at work writing stuff, I’ve been meditating every day for a couple months now and it feels good. Think I’m gonna go to the studio later to record the vocals, this new song is cool it makes me feel great and i like it can’t wait to figure it out 

Song writing is like a puzzle you gotta try some shit n see what fits and what doesn’t and eventually you get a cool photo 

I think it’s gonna be called fully oblige  ….. might change it

thoughts before bed

 about to sleep but need to say few thoutz.....

more music is coming soon.... when its ready its ready <3 love new listeners hellooo . i do this for my self and im just having fun 

 hello if u r an a&r & i send u a demos plz dont tell me or lmk any ideas about what you think i should add or do.... its my track... its still a demo.... im feeling it out.... i love u but..... that messes my jive up ya kno.... i guess thats ur job but like..... . idk 

i wish more ppl communicated more its sooooo simple just !!!!! just say how u feel! whats the worst that cvan happen.... in non communication bad feelings can arise.... its soooo silly 

uhhh what else ..... not sure goodnight 

omg

 sup first post im TRYING so hard to find a good flow for this one song im working on its sooooooo annoying ive tried alot and i just wanna finish it so i can release it but wow im overthinking so hard.

I dont wanna rush the process i know this is apart of it im just itching so bad to release this so i can release the EP. I still have one song on it to polish but its done, i just wanna release a single before and this one is so difficult but the beat really feels good. i know that there is something there i can feel it. i need to get out of my head and look inside. alot of the time i second guess my self so much its super annoy........